28 Things I've Learned in 28 Years

There was  a time in my life (particularly from the ages of eighteen to twenty-one) where I used to think it was impossible that any of my stupid life choices had taught me anything. But as I compiled this list, I became fully cognizant of the fact that just because you made some not-so-wise choices in your past (even one day in your past), it doesn't mean you didn't learn anything.

Here are twenty-eight things I've learned in my twenty-eight years on earth, many of which I very much wish I could've told the high school version of myself and my best friends, too. Maybe you'll read something that resonates or you'll think of something I could still really stand to learn. Either way, I hope this will be a fun, enlightening, empowering way to celebrate my birthday this year.

1. Love yourself.

2. Empower the other women in your life. I am sick of women putting other women down. We can all be fun, smart, beautiful and successful. There is room enough for all of us at the top, and acting any differently only adds unnecessary negativity into our lives. It is more than okay to be a girls' girl.

3. Eat the f*cking donut. I guess this is connected to Numbers 1 and 18, but seriously, just f*cking eat it.

4. Call your mother (or step-mother or any other applicable mother figure). Just do it. She wants to talk to you, and trust me, you NEED to talk to her.

5. Let it go. Move. On. Take a deep breath and take a step forward and away from whatever it is that's holding you back.

6. Exercise. Not necessarily to lose weight or tone up, but because it'll help you deal with any negativity and stress in your life.

7. And in the same vein, rid yourself of negative people. My brain (and heart, for that matter) only has the capacity to hold the lyrics to every single Backstreet Boys and N*Sync song, which means there is absolutely no room to waste my thoughts on negative people.

8. Drink water.

9. Stop doing things simply because other people want you to. Unless, of course, it's your boss, then please, for the love of God, do what she asked you to do.

10. It's not fun or funny to pretend to be stupid. You worked your ass off to get where you are, so act like it. Being a ditz was only cool circa 1995: the "Clueless" era.

11. Be kind...

12. But do NOT, under any circumstances, be a pushover. 

13. Never compare your relationship to others' and never compare others' relationship to your own.

14. It's okay to cry.

15. And it's also okay to have an off day. I feel like I was never told this as a child, and I still have days, where when I'm not running down the road, hugging and kissing strangers and babies alike, that I feel like some sort of asshole. That's not the case at all though. You don't have to be sunshine and rainbows every day to be a normal, functioning part of society. If you need to sneak out of work at 4:30 and get in pajamas and take a nap, maybe that's just what you need. And that's okay.

16. Try something, anything, new, be it food or adventure or anything else. I didn't eat a Brussels sprout until nine months ago. Like, WHAT? That's ridiculous.

17. Wear red lipstick (or a smokey eye or an agressive amount of blush or bold brow fillers) because it's YOUR face. And if people don't like it, please point them in the direction of Numbers 2, 5, 7 & 9 above (and tell them I sent you).

18. Stop shaming your body. How can you be kind to others when you can't even be kind to yourself? This is something I struggle with every minute of every day, but I'm trying. 

19. Accept help.

20. Always allow yourself the opportunity to be a better version of yourself.

21. Appreciate the friends you have but be open to making new, amazing friends, too. I made a friend over the past few months that's been such an incredible, loving, positive and empowering force in my life that I almost can't imagine a time when we weren't friends. Just because you're not a student anymore, and friends aren't a dime a dozen, it doesn't mean that good friends aren't destined to come in your life and stay there forever.

23. Have patience...

24. But not too much patience.

25. Don't go to bed mad at your significant other. A friend of mine's father always says, "do you want to be right or do you want to be in love?" Apologize (yes, even if you don't mean it), kiss goodnight and wake up in the morning with a fresh perspective. Sometimes my "fresh perspective" tells me that I was right, and so I wake up and keep arguing with P when we're drinking coffee, but oh well...

26. Stop saying "sorry" (and "no problem," for that matter).

27. Learn something, anything, from a past relationship, be it romantic or platonic. People come and go from our lives for a reason, and there's always something you can learn from the idiot you dated when you were seventeen. Always.

28. Drink champagne. On any day and for any reason or for absolutely no reason at all.